Tales And Randomness
by Legend Maker
Summary: This is likely the closest thing to a crack/suga-high fic you're ever going to get out of me. An idea that came to me while turning ideas for another story over in my head.
1. Comedy Story 1: Sights Unseen

**_Tales and Randomness_**

Writer's Note: This "story" is really my dumping ground for ideas or knockoffs that I can't find a place for in my other plotlines, so expect to see a bunch of conflicting material, some serious, some funny, and some just…well, you'll see.

And if you are a first time reader, my Titan membership consists of an alternate timeline one where Terra stayed with the team and never hooked up with Slade. It also includes my original character Noel Collins, aka Savior, and the character Robert Candide, aka Gauntlet, created by the author Bobcat. Couples are Robin/Starfire, Beast Boy/Terra, and Raven/Savior, in case you were wondering.

Comedy Tale One: "Sights Unseen."

Titan Tower! Site of wonders and atrocities! The sky is clear! The birds are singing! Bees are trying to have sex with them…or so goes a certain spiky-haired kid's understanding.

"WOULD YOU WATCH IT ROB!"

Well, not THAT spiky-haired kid.

"Ok, I'm watching it Noel." Rob said, picking up the flask and staring at it. Noel groaned inwardly.

"Just be careful! I don't have an near-invulnerable shield artifact like you."

"Jealous?" Rob said, grinning.

"Not really, as I suspect that when you got your artifact, it accompanied a equal loss of intelligence. Then I thought it over and realized how could you lose what you never had?"

"Oh ouch. An intelligence joke. This from the guy who thought marriage was a kind of food."

"THAT WAS IN DBZ!"

"Well you certainly seem to draw some inspiration from there, hmmmm?" Rob said. His own hair was pretty spiky, but Noel's white hair in his "hero form" could have easily won a "mimic Gohan's SSJ2 Kid hair" contest.

Noel snorted and turned back to the work that he had been stuck with: chemical work with Rob. The Titans had a few foes that occasionally required antidotes (which had definitely been useful when they'd had their battle with Jonathon Crane, aka the Scarecrow, but that's another tale), and it was always better if they had the remedies on hand rather then trying to mix them up on the spot. But mixing up unpleasant smelling chemicals was a deed that none of the Titans wanted to do, so they had to draw lots for it. And since fate just loved him so much, Noel had been stuck with the lone Titan he couldn't stand: Robert Candide.

While the two of them would make a great sitcom, most of the time the Titans weren't in situations that would benefit a laugh track. Fortunately, Noel had enough sense to put personal stuff aside when business was at hand, something that Rob could also do if he was prodded enough. It was the rest of the time that caused the problems. The two came from drastically different backgrounds, and as a result each thought the other went too far in their perspective living. Rob thought Noel was a sourpuss who was forever looking for any excuse to ruin any fun he could so he could angst on the hardships on the superhero life. And Noel thought Rob was, at best, a goof, and at worst, a moron who didn't take the task of being a so called superhero seriously enough and that one day his lack of seriousness was going to get someone, as well as himself, hurt or killed. The truth was probably somewhere in the middle. In any case, the two could work together when it mattered, but in less serious situations, like mixing chemicals…not so well.

Which is why Noel kept telling Rob to be careful. He KNEW that Rob was the type to see two chemicals that were pretty colors and mix them together to see what would happen.

"Be careful with those chemicals Rob!"

"Yeesh, calm DOWN Noel. I have done this before with Tim and Gar, I know what I'm doing." Rob said, pouring the contents of a beaker into a flask.

Wait, you're saying. This is supposedly a comedy story! Where's the comedy?

It's here.

BLA-DA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Noel almost went through the wall, and then nearly landed on his face before his power, the sentient energy known as the Shimmer, stopped him. Growling, he flicked on the emergency fans that would suck away any toxic fumes.

"Rob, you, you…have you lost your mind!" Noel yelled as the figure of Rob appeared from the smoky fumes that had concealed his form.

"Uh…" Rob said, checking to see if his namesake artifact had activated.

Problem.

He couldn't find his gauntlet.

Or his arm.

"Ah!" Rob said, looking up. There was his T-Shirt…but where was his arm? And come to think of it, as he glanced across the room…and saw a shirt and a pair of pants and shoes sitting on the floor, without any sight of the certain things that would fill those clothes, like a body. He brought his hands up to his head…or more specifically, the stumps of his shirt to the blank space above the top hole of his shirt where his head should be.

"Dammit Rob, you have lost your mind!" Noel growled.

"Not only that!" Rob said, as he stood up. His muscles seemed to be working…with the exception that they weren't there. Come to think of it, his eyes weren't there either! He had vanished! He was a ghost!

"Noel! I've lost my head! It isn't on me!" Rob said, pressing his invisible hand to his invisible face. He could FEEL it, but it wasn't there.

"It's probably on the floor with the rest of the mess you made! I know I haven't got it!" Noel snapped, as he tried to remember where the Titan's lone HAZ-Mat suit was. "Get out of here! I have to clean this up!"

"Uh Noel…" Gauntlet said, waving at Noel. Noel just continued to glare at him. What the heck? Didn't he see?

"Get! Now! Before you cause more trouble!"

"Noel, I can't just run around the tower without a head!"

"Rob, you've gone all these years without USING your head. Why panic now?"

"But, but…"

"No buts! GET!" Noel said, as the Shimmer formed a giant pointing hand. Rob stared at Noel's utterly incomprehensive face, and then he walked past Noel and left the lab.

"What a revolting development this is! I just hope my powers haven't disappeared! Or my stomach!" Rob said as he walked the hallways.

It didn't take him long to stumble across another one of the Titans: Beast Boy. Good. While Sourpuss Noel was clearly willing to ignore this problem, Gar Logan wouldn't!

"Hey! Gar! Wait up!" Rob said, running over to the green-haired teen.

"Hey Rob! What's new?" Gar asked. Rob stopped.

"Errr…don't you notice anything DIFFERENT about me?"

"Hey yeah! How about that!" Gar replied. Rob felt relief.

"You're wearing a new shirt!"

Rob facevaulted.

"But what about my face?" Rob asked.

"You can use a new face too!" Gar cracked. Rob was about to say something, except with an accompanied "Garfieellldd…", Terra came around the corner. Beast Boy quickly forgot all about Rob Candide and his currently only noticeable to him problem.

"You called me, my love?" Gar asked, sidling over and taking Terra's arm.

"HEY! What about ME?" Rob said.

"Why should he call YOU 'my love'?" Terra joked. "Rob, we want some alone time. Why don't you disappear?"

Rob facevaulted again. By the time he got up, Beast Boy and Terra had gone off to whatever they were planning to do. No, NOT THAT! Get your brain out of the gutter! Especially you two! Yeah, I'm talking to you Prisionero and Fooble Bloop!

"Ok…" Rob said, scratching his head. "Either Gar and Tara are seeing things by seeing things that aren't there or are afraid they're seeing things by NOT seeing things that SHOULD be there, or…aw, I can't figure this out on an empty stomach!"

And with that Rob headed for the kitchen. He was poking around in the fridge when he felt the presence behind him.

"Rob! What's wrong with you?" came Raven's voice.

_At last! Somebody noticed!_ Rob said. He turned around holding an apple…and found an angry looking Raven.

"You know this is my day to cook lunch! You know I want people out of the kitchen until then! It's not for another two hours! I don't serve people individually! You're upsetting my whole routine and you know it!"

"But but but!" Robert stammered. A nearby pot became encased in black energy.

"Get! Shoo, you walking stomach! And don't come back until noon!" Raven yelled, throwing the pot as she chased Gauntlet out of the kitchen.

"Ye gods…" Rob said as he headed down the nearest staircase, not paying any attention to where he was going. He bit into the apple. Well, he at least till had a mouth.

"Even in this business…" Rob said as he went through a random door, still eating his apple. "You would think the Titans saw invisible people every day!"

"Hey! Hold it right there Rob!"

Rob stopped, realizing he had wandered into the garage. Cyborg pulled himself away from the T-Car and headed for the young, invisible teen.

"Don't think I don't see you!" Cyborg said. Robert felt relief. It figured Cyborg would have noticed: he probably had something in his mechanical eye that…

"How many times have I told you not to eat near my baby!" Cyborg yelled, planting his hand on his hips.

"ARRGGGHHHHHH!" Rob yelled, running away. Cyborg arched a non-existent eyebrow, and then picked up the half eaten apple Rob had left behind to toss in the compost heap.

"Yeesh. What a group! Why can't they see I'm not here?" Rob lamented as he walked down another hallway.

Which didn't have a mirror. Hence Rob couldn't see that his head and arms were once again phasing back into existence, whatever strange chemical he had come up with finally wearing off. But like I said, Rob was a tad bit upset, and didn't notice.

"Huh! I could disappear entirely and none of these people would notice!" Rob said, stepping into the lounge and walking past Robin and Starfire without speaking to them. Why bother?

"Tim, what appears to be bothering Robert?" Starfire asked.

"I dunno Kory. Sometimes he acts like he's not all there."

They were too far away to hear Rob when he stepped into the hallway and had an epiphany.

"Wait! They must think it's a trick and hence they ignored it! They know me too well! They really didn't see my head! They just pretended to! All they saw were my clothes! Which means…MWA HA! I have turned myself invisible! By removing my clothing, I can perpetrate any crime undetected! Whoo hoo! I have complete freedom! I can get away with anything!"

How to sum up this epiphany, this story, and the fact that Rob has not realized he has reappeared?

One sentence.

"ROB WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING NEAR THE COOKIE JAR WITHOUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!!!!!!!!!"

The End


	2. Comedy Story 2: Villain Cafe

Comedy Story 2: Villain Café

Writer's Note: While this is a funny idea, it requires a huge amount of detail, especially if you've never read my stuff before. Therefore whenever a villain appears for the first time and you don't know who it is (this discounts villains that have appeared in the Teen Titans show), their powers and where they appeared in my stories for the first time (or if created by another author, in THEIR stories) will be listed. If they were created by DC Comics and not by me, their brief profile will begin with DC. If they have not yet appeared in my works, they will be listed as HAY (Which stands for Hasn't Appeared Yet. Which means they will eventually). Aren't I nice? Anyway, let's take a looksee on what our favorite bad guys are doing on their off hours…

Writer's Post Story Note: This turned out a lot longer then I planned…

We are in a dark alleyway. Come to think of it, is there ever a brightly lit alleyway? I swear if I could find some way to work that extreme opposite irony into a story…anyway we see two figures standing in the shadows, talking to another figure in the shadows. Except this figure IS the shadows.

"Didn't quite expect to see you around here. Doesn't strike me as your kind of place." said The Lord of the Night (Insane vigilante/messiah, Black And White Chapter 9).

"And I didn't expect YOU to be opening a bar." Said one of the figures, who appeared to be short and wearing a pointed hat.

"This is a What If. Reality doesn't matter." Replied the other figure: the only detail we can get of him is that he is wearing a long coat.

"As real as this weird comic/cartoon/writing world gets anyway." Said Figure 2.

"Well I can hardly deny you entrance. As much as I might want to. This planet must be purified!" The Lord complained.

"You're a bad guy. Do the math." Replied Figure 2. The Lord snorted.

"Fine. Welcome to Moriarity's. Or as some people call it, the Villain Café." The Lord said, as the Lord convalesced into a physical form. Now wearing a suit, the Lord turned and opens the door. Immediately, a huge figure loomed within.

"What's the password?" asked Cinderblock.

"Let me in before I blow you to pebbles, you third-rate Thing."

"It's the boss." Cinderblock replied, and the Lord was let in, followed by the Figures as Cinderblock stepped back. Plasmus is also there, and he is arguing with a teenager.

"…every right to be in here!" complained Nester Weames (Would be supervillian. Wings of the Eagles Chapter 21).

"You're still a nobody, as of NOW." Plasmus threw back. "Without the HERO Device…

"PLASMUS!" bellowed the Lord.

"Uh right, no saying the H Word in here. Sorry boss." Plasmus stammered, looking scared.

"Right. What seems to be the problem?" asked the Lord.

"This kid claims he used the…er, a magical artifact to gain power, which he used as a supervillian. He says that means he should be let in the bar. But he doesn't have the device any more and hence he's just a stupid kid." Cinderblock said.

"I trashed the Titans! I even got one of the best visual elements the author created in my arc!" Nester protested.

"You mean that mud tidal wave?" The Lord said.

"Yeah!"

"Not impressed." The Lord replied. Nester looked crestfallen.

"But, but…!"

"How many people did you kill?" The Lord enquired.

"None! I'm not a murderer!"

"Psshhhttt. You're a wannabe." The Lord said, dismissing the teenager.

"And you're a lunatic who thinks every problem in the world can be solved by murder!" Nester fired back.

There was DEAD silence. Which may be fitting in a bit…

Then the Lord smirked.

"…Heh. This kid may not have powers, but he has stones. Let him in."

"Yes boss." Said Cinderblock.

"Follow me you two." The Lord said.

The two did so…and step into a dimly lit, on purpose, underground area which is quite large. There was a bar taking up the far wall, and a restaurant and stage as well. The entire area was filled with villains, in full costume, drinking, eating, conversing, and whatnot. The only people who are not villains are the waitresses. As mentioned, there was a stage in the place, and Kitten, Killer Moth's daughter, currently occupies it. She was singing. Horribly. The Lord winced.

"You'll excuse me. Go sit in the VIP area." He said, and then vanished in a swirl of shadows. Meanwhile, Kitten continued singing. Horribly.

"NE-VAH WUZ AND NEVAH WILL BEE, YOU DON'T KNOW…" And that was far as she got as the mike was turned off. "HEY!"

"Get off the stage." The Lord said, holding the plug.

"No!"

With a growl, the Lord turned into a nightmarish shadow beast twice as big as Mammoth. "GET OFF THE STAGE BEFORE I REMOVE YOUR TONGUE FROM YOUR HEAD!"

"AHHHHHHH! Daddy!" Kitten shrieked as she ran away.

"About bloody time someone shut that birdie up. HEY! WAITRESS! GET ME ANOTHER TEQUILA COLLINS! Why does that drink's name make me mad…"

Asphyxiation said. (Psychotic Australian who commands a sentient malleable energy called the Grimmer, Black and White Chapter 20). Meanwhile, The Lord got off the stage…and was confronted by Killer Moth.

"You can't talk to my daughter that way!" Killer Moth said, trying to sound confident.

The Lord sprouted eight new arms with nasty weapons.

"Yes. I Can."

"……..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Killer Moth screamed, and promptly ran away.

"Way ta go Dad." Kitten muttered, as the Lord put away the weapons and headed to the VIP Area. He passed a waitress along the way.

"Sir, are you going to order?" she asked her customer.

"…." 'Said' Killjoy. (Ice cold, sociopathic, never speaking hitman. Black and White Chapter 7)

"Sir, really, you have to order something." Said the waitress.

"…."

"Sir, you can't just…"

Killjoy pulled out a gun and shot the waitress.

No one much notices.

A few seconds pass and suddenly something blurred into existence near the body.

"For the forth time, stop doing that! Do you have any idea how much energy it takes to reconstruct brain tissue?" Chastised Whim (Teenage God. HAY). The young deity then demonstrated his amazing power by reviving the waitress, who got up, looking stunned, and walked off.

"…." Killjoy said.

"Yeah, whatever." Whim replied, and warped back to the bar, where he was serving as bartender.

"Now what did you want?" He asked his customer. Which was Warp, who was about to answer…

"A…"

And then with a sudden flash of light, Warp was a pre-teen.

"Century."

"Yeah, looks like you could use it." Whim replied sarcastically.

"Give me a Century!"

"Oh I'm sorry sir, you're underage." Whim smirked.

"BLAST!"

And now we head over to the entrance, to our two bouncers.

"Hey Plasmus, who do you think would win in a fight between Superman and Mighty Mouse?" Cinderblock asked.

"Dude, Mighty Mouse is a cartoon! Superman's a real guy! It isn't even a contest!" Plasmus answered.

Unfortunately, while the two were arguing, the Troika, aka Gizmo, Jinx, and Mammoth (The Troika is what I call them, if you're new) took advantage of it and slipped past them. They promptly make a beeline for the bar.

"Hey! Snothead! Make me a drink!" Gizmo ordered. Whim looked amused.

"I'm sorry, you're underage. And immature." Whim said. Gizmo looked highly perturbed at being refused.

"Uh…make me a drink?" Jinx tried.

"You're also underage."

"MAKE ME A DRINK!" Mammoth roared.

"You may be large, but you're still underage." Whim replied. Now the whole Troika looked mad.

"You crudmouth! Give me one good reason not to blast you!" Gizmo snarled.

Whim just pointed behind him. The Troika turned around to find their headmistress, who looked very cross.

"Uh…we got lost?" Jinx said sheepishly.

"I swear…" The Headmistress said, as she grabbed the entire Troika by their ears. How? Beats me, I just work here. "We try and have a nice field trip and you hooligans are trying to get drunk! You are all in big trouble!"

"But, but! Hey! The…" Gizmo protested.

"No buts! You're staying in the restaurant section!" The Headmistress said, as she dragged off the Troika.

And hence missing who they're pointing at…the latest graduates of the H.I.V.E. Created by me anyway. I call them The Five.

"Ah, Mikron." Said Raw (Leader of new graduates. Has mechanical arms and legs which contain about 10,000 different sharp things. HAY). "So smart and yet so…"

And then the glass exploded in her hand. That was the curse of having cyborg limbs: it could be hard to hold fragile things. "BLAST! I knew I shouldn't have brought my battle arms!"

"Hah! Mikron! No one Gizmo never varies from his handle!" said Abrasion (Turns into a cloud of flesh-rending dust. HAY):

"That joke is dead Dominique." said Standstill (Can match and neutralize any human or metahuman ability. HAY):

"Shut up John! Go drink some non-alcoholic swill like God Boy here! I swear, why did Jo Jo even bother making you a fake ID?" snarled back Abrasion, aka Dominique.

"I don't recall exactly where in the Bible where it says that alcohol is bad, but I do know the Latin phrase. _In Potus, Veritas._ "In drink, truth". So I don't. Go ahead and drink your Warsaw. That drink is so potent you'll be under the table in two minutes flat." Said Cataract (Controls the weather, also a Christian, hence "God Boy". HAY).

"Hah! Not me! I could drink ten of these and still be the designated driver!" Abrasion boasted.

"Aurora…" said Standstill, aka John.

"Let him reap what he sows John…" Raw, aka Aurora managed to say before her second glass shattered. "GOD DAMMIT!"

"Please Aurora." Said Cataract.

"Sorry."

"Hey, don't take that bullplop! You know, if I was the leader, you'd all be kissing my boot just so…WAITRESS! MORE!" Abrasion said. He was clearly already becoming drunk.

"Jo Jo, think you can draw a designated driver?" Cataract asked as he sipped his Virgin Mary.

"Shurreeee, wouldja like him prettttyyyyy colorz az well…" Slurred Jo Jo, aka Masterpiece. (Can bring anything she draws to life. Last member of the Five. HAY)

"Oh dear Jesus, you're drunk too." Cataract said.

"Nah, just messing with ya." Masterpiece said, back to normal in a second.

"Hah! Ok my friends, a toast to our hopefully soon first appearance." Raw said, as she raised her glass.

And it promptly broke.

"GOD DAMMIT BURN IN HELL!"

Cataract sighed.

Back at the bar, another girl sidled up to the other bartender. The normal one: Whim is the manager who is also doubling as a bartender this night. It was a female villain called Eyesore. (Girl genius with technology that suffers from a split personality, with the other alternate being viciously homicidal due to sexual abuse. Commands a brain-warping helmet. Wings of the Eagles Chapter 12)

"Hey smurfhead! I…SMURFHEAD?" Eyesore exclaimed, as she clearly didn't mean to say that.

"Sorry. Though the author doesn't mind profanity, she doesn't want any in this story." Replied the normal bartender, the Weather Wizard (DC, controls the weather, though unlike Cataract, he needs a wand to do it. Wings of the Eagles Chapter 10).

"WHAT! That's a smurf'n copout, you smurf'n smurf! Smurf you! Smurf you all the way to smurf!"

"Right. What do you want?" Weather Wizard calmly replied.

"A Bloody Maria!"

"I'm sorry, you're underage and therefore…" The Weather Wizard began, and then Eyesore activated her helmet, flashing a myriad of light patterns directly into Weather Wizard's brain. " This drink is on the house! What did you want?"

"A…" Eyesore began, and then her voice suddenly changed and became softer. "A Carrie Nation."

"Coming right up!" Weather Wizard said as he left to prepare it.

"Why you! Tell me what's the smurf', argh, point of going to a bar if we're gonna order a smurf'n smurf NONALCOHOLIC DRINK!" Eyesore cursed at herself, back to the hardened, nasty voice. Then her eyes seemed to fade a bit.

"You hate hangovers anyway." Eyesore replied to herself.

"BLAST!" Cursed the back again hard voice. Resigned, the young villain took her drink from Weather Wizard.

"Can I get you anything else?" The Weather Wizard asked.

"Can you get me another appearance in the Creator's works?" Eyesore inquired.

"No."

FLASH!

"Yes!"

And we leave that to pan back across the bar, past pictures of great villains. Robert Patrick as the T-1000, Robert Englund and Kane Hodder as Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees, and Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham are the ones we see until we come back to Whim, who was finishing his own drink.

"There you go. One Haunted Bride." Said Whim, serving the drink to Murdercrow (Blind warrioress with superhuman senses and a pair of nasty tasers. Black and White Chapter 27). The girl tried to pick up her drink…and missed it. She felt along the table for it until Whim picked it up and put it in her hand.

"Senses overwhelmed with data?" Whim asked.

"No, the author being cute." Murdercrow replied.

CRASH!

"AH GODDAMIT THAT'S THE FORTH WALL THIS WEEK!" The Lord yelled from his spot in the VIP Section. "BUSBOY! Clean that mess up!"

The Puppet King headed out of the kitchen with a broom and a dustpin, looking miserable.

"It's not fair, I had all the Titans…now I'm as useless as rotten wood…it's not fair…I had the magic…" He whined to himself as he began sweeping up the mess.

At another table, we found even more villains.

"Why are we even here? We haven't appeared in any of this silly girl writer's stories!" Said Lady Vic (DC, British aristocrat/deadly assassin, HAY) to one of her companions, Torque (DC…Er…To explain exactly why would take forever, but let's just say due to an angry and superstrong crime lord, a huge amount of luck, and radical surgery, Torque's head is stuck facing the wrong way, although due to special glasses that also function as rear view mirrors, he can see behind him….and this explanation of NO explanation is taking longer then an actual explanation…ARGH! Anyway, he's sitting backwards so he can see the table and trying to drink, but you people probably know the loss of fine control ones suffers when one stick's one arms behind themselves…HAY)

"The author plans…" Torque said, as he tried to get his beer to his mouth. "To use us in her upcoming Zeus Gauntlet story…never mind that will take forever to…"

And then Torque dropped the mug.

"ARGH!"

Onomatopoeia (DC. Mysterious hitman/assassin who, like his namesake, mimics every single sound he hears. HAY) watched the falling mug.

"Crash, tinkle…drip. Drip. Drip." He said. (That would be Torque's mug breaking, the glass scattering, and the beer beginning to drip to the floor. Beginning to get the idea?)

"Stop that! You have no idea how annoying that is." Said The Scarecrow (DC. Psychotic former professor and master of fear. HAY), as he drank from his glass.

"Sip, sip, chug, sip…" Onomatopoeia said.

"How droll." Lady Vic said, and shifted in her chair.

"Creaakkkk, shuffle, shift, creak…blink. Blink." Onomatopoeia said.

Lady Vic just stared.

"Bleh…stupid gimmick villain…back in MY day we didn't need to be created by movie directors…" Scarecrow said, his voice slurred. It's not surprising very thin men can't hold their alcohol well. "No! We walked 10,000 miles through the snow to rob our banks and WE LIKED IT! Waitress, another beer."

"Me too, AND BRING A STRAW THIS TIME!" Torque ordered, and as he did Control Freak darted by, riding on a chair he brought to life. He was clearly a bit drunk.

"YEE HAW!" He yelled, as the living chair jumped on a table. "Watch out Radioactive Man, the sun is exploding again!" He yelled, as he jumped off. "Tally ho and…AHHHH!" Control Freak shrieked, as the chair had abruptly become just a normal chair again, and the sudden stop sends Control Freak flying through the air. He goes past the VIP section, where the Lord has lowered his hand.

"NOBODY breaks the laws of physics in my place except me." The Lord said, as Control Freak got up, rubbing his head.

"Owwww….I'm going to feel THAT in the morn…ing…" And that was all the villain got out, as he had spotted Murdercrow sitting quietly at a table by herself, sipping her drink. Hearts replaced his eyes, and he darted over and sits down.

"You came over here rather quickly. Is there a problem?" Murdercrow asked the presence she had felt sit down.

"No…not at all…life is grand…oh so grand…tell me, come here often?" Control Freak asked in typical Wannabe Charmerese.

"I don't have much else to do, I'm dead." Murdercrow replied blithely.

Back at the VIP section, another waitress approached the Lord, looking nervous.

"Um, sir…"

"Yes?" The Lord said.

"I just took an order from that table over there and it's full of…complicated dishes…and uh…well…" The Waitress stammered.

"Spit it out." The Lord said.

The waitress instinctively spat out her gum. A brief pause, as the Lord looked up at the gum now stuck on his forehead.

"Uh huh. Tad too literal." He said, and the gum dissolved as the Lord looked back at the terrified waitress. "I'm not going to kill you, out with it!

"Well…the chef is in a bad mood…and I'm afraid of what will happen if I tell him…"

"Look, it's his job, so give him the damn order!" The Lord snapped.

"Yes sir." Said the Waitress, and headed for the kitchen.

There was a brief pause.

Then loud yelling and flames erupted from the door, and the waitress came back out, singed and running for her life. A second later, Trigon, in a chef's hat and an apron that says "A Man of Wealth and Taste" stomped out of the kitchen and over to the Lord.

"NIGHT-COMMANDER! When I sided with you it was to conquer the world! WHY AM I COOKING FOOD IN A HUMAN EATERY!" Trigon bellowed. The Lord looked perturbed.

"I told you Trigon, we're waiting for the right time, and until we do we have to stay in some place the Titans won't expect to look. So I suggest you head back and make the orders, unless you want the Fang shoved up your ass again." The Lord replied.

"INFERNAL GODLING! When this is done, you will know the full extent of my displeasure at this farce!" Trigon roared, and stomped back to the kitchen.

"Pssst, I was the final villain in the main storyline, not you." The Lord said to himself.

Back at the bar, Atlas threw a bottle onto a huge pile of them. Whim loked in distaste at this, and then with a wave of his hand, the bottles vanish.

"300 beers in 50 seconds! Pay up!" Atlas said triumphantly.

"CURSES! Brother, what did I tell you about making fool's wages?" Lightning said as he looked at his brother.

"Er…you made that gamble brother." Thunder replied.

"Don't blame me for your foolishness! Pay the man!"

"Er…I left my wallet in my other…what am I wearing anyway? A skirt?"

"It doesn't matter!" Atlas crowed. "Money means nothing to me! I am supreme! The greatest! I can beat anyone at anything!"

"In that case…" Lightning said, as he took off a glove he happened to be wearing and slapped Atlas across the face. "I challenge you to a duel!"

Atlas looked at Lightning, shrugged, and then took off one of his huge hands and slammed it across Lightning's head in a repeat of Lightning's gesture.

Except his sent Lightning through the wall, leaving a Lightning shaped hole in it.

A few seconds passed, and then Weather Wizard popped up from behind the bar where he had hidden from this. A few more seconds, and then Whim teleported over.

"No fighting in the bar!" Whim ordered.

"And what are YOU doing to do about it, little man?" Atlas challenged.

Atlas suddenly turned into a chicken, a banana, a parking meter, a can of spam, a bubblegum machine, a copy of Twisted Metal 4, and then back into Atlas.

"I'll be good." The giant robot whimpered. Lightning pulled himself groggily from the hole.

"Did anyone get the number for that Gemna tank?"

Back in the VIP section, Cinderblock walked up to the Lord.

"Boss, some people want to see you."

"Tell them to go away." The Lord replied.

"They were quite insistent." Cinderblock answered.

"And I still say…"

Cinderblock turned to show that half of him was charred black.

"…Great. Go back to your post." The Lord said. Cinderblock left…to reveal Sizzle (Vicious and angry pyrokinetic, Black and White Chapter 27) and Shadowmaster (Quiet, controlled man whose namesake should make his power obvious. Black and White Chapter 27), former minions of his. "Ho boy. Yes?"

"YOU KILLED US YOU SMURF'N SMURF SMURF!" Sizzle screamed.

"You know that Smurf thing has run his course. Changing the censors." The Lord said, and snapped his fingers. "Anyway, yes?"

"You made us all kinds of promises! And then you leave us to rot! Fuchu! You sock-sucking son of a witch!" Sizzle cursed.

"Oh boo hoo." The Lord replied. "I didn't even KILL you Sizzle. You fell on your own sword that Raven was holding….I suppose you want to complain as well Shadowmaster?

"……….What she said." Shadowmaster said quietly. The Lord sighed.

"Look, not considering the fact I knew it was what had to be done, the one I wronged the most out of you three was Murdercrow, and you don't see HER complaining. Look, she's just quietly having a drink."

And The Lord pointed to where Murdercrow, who was indeed having a drink…albeit not quietly, as she was not only being hit on by Control Freak, but by Dr. Light, Captain Cold, a DC villain who has a freeze gun and appeared in Chapter 12 of Black and White, and The Welder, a villain created by the author Bobcat. He has…welding equipment. Yep, that's it. He appeared in the final chapter of Black and White.

Shadowmaster frowned, while Sizzle just growled and stomped over, Shadowmaster in her wake. The Lord looked over to his guests.

"Did you have to make her such a bitch?"

"Don't look at ME." Said Figure 1.

"Yes." Replied Figure 2 in a simple tone. The Lord sighed, as Sizzle and Shadowmaster approached the group.

"…nice dress. It would look great…" The Welder was saying.

"HOLD IT!" Sizzle snapped. The males looked up irritably.

"Hello Sizzle." Murdercrow said. "I heard you complaining. I seem to have attracted some attention, as you may see…"

"Crow, all these guys are ugly, stupid, and just want to get into your pants."

Murdercrow stiffened.

"They do?"

"Errrrr…" Control Freak stammered.

"Um…" The Welder muttered.

"Plus I think that guy on your left is looking for an opening to cop a feel." Sizzle added.

In a great burst of movement, Murdercrow snapped her arm down, pulled her taser out of her boot, turned it on, and jammed it right into the balls of Captain Cold, who was that man on the left.

"AHHHHH! Iyeee with the testicles and the zapping and the 100 chance of PAIN!" Captain Cold groaned in a Dr. Frink voice, and then collapsed. All the other males stared at him for a second and then they ran away.

"Men." Sizzle said as she sat down. "BARKEEP!"

"Yes?" Whim said as he appeared.

"Give me the strongest thing you got."

Whim gestured and a heavily muscled man stepped up to the table. Sizzle looked him up and down in a combined state of confusion and caution.

"On second thought, how about a Catherine The Great."

"Shadows Of Your Smile…" Shadowmaster said as he sat down next to Murdercrow.

"Right right." Whim said, and disappeared. Literally. While Murdercrow looks in Shadowmaster's direction, seemingly interested that he's next to her, the Lord gestures in the background . A few seconds later a miserable looking Puppet King walked up and dragged away Captain Cold's limp form.

And we pan over to the Troika, who are now all sitting in the restaurant section.

"Now, isn't this better?" The Headmistress said.

"Yes headmistress." The Troika replied, even though the looks on their face clearly said they didn't think it was better.

"Excuse me my good lady!" Came A British voice, and then Mad Mod stepped up to the table. "I noticed you were having trouble keeping your young duckies in line. I have an offer for you! Mad Mod's School of Discipline! By the time I'm through with your little scoundrels, you'll be able to set your watch by their villainy and not be annoyed…"

Mad Mod's pitch cut off as a shadow fell over him.

"Wha…" He said, and turned around to see the Lord. Who pointed to a sign that said "No Solicitations."

"Oh come on my good man, surely you…" Mad Mod protested.

The Lord pointed to another sign that says "If you disagree with the owner, make sure you can leave the bar in 1 second, because the owner can remove you in two seconds".

"……..Right." Mad Mod said, resigned. "Well then, I'll just sample the wares of your fine pub! But I don't see why you're coming down on me when that other guy is selling stuff outside your door."

"What?" The Lord said.

And outside the bar, another British voice spoke to nonexistent crowds.

"Capes! Get your capes! Every good bad guy needs a cape! Buy two, get the third one at half price!" Barked Evil John. (Created by the author Jedi-And. Snobby, sarcastic Englishman with powerful blasts. Wings of the Eagles Chapter 22)

The Lord appeared from the shadows.

"Get the hell off my property!"

"Hey man, you can't suppress me! This is free enterprise." Evil John protested.

"Maybe so, and if you don't free yourself from my presence, I'll free your ORGANS from your CHEST CAVITY!" The Lord roared. That gave Evil John pause.

"When you put it that way…" Evil John said. "Well, before I go, how about a cape?"

KA-BOOOOOM!

"It was only an offffffeeeeerrrrrrrr…" Evil John said as he flew through the air. He eventually landed in Metropolis as the Lord went back into his place. Back at the bar, Whim reappeared. Two new people are sitting at the bar. One of them, Grave (Can revive and control the dead. Rather skeletal and creepy looking chap. HAY), glanced at the woman next to him.

"Yes?" asked Peek-A-Boo (DC. Woman with an explosive teleportation ability. Black and White Chapter 12).

"Um…er…" Grave stammered, clearly nervous and shy. "Uh…hello?"

"Sweetie, I've seen the best of them all come and go. You ain't all that impressive." Peek-A-Boo said.

"Oh…" Grave said, looking sad. He looked about ready to give up, before it appears that he gets an idea.

"Wait…I think I may be." Grave said.

"Oh?"

"Yes…you see…uh…" Grave said, as he reached into a pocket and withdrew what looked to be a bunch of small white sticks.

"They say that life's a musical…but life has to end at some point…" Grave said, as he closed his hand and waved his other one over it. "Or…does it?"

And Grave opened his hand to reveal a bird skeleton. As Peek-A-Boo's eyes widened, it somehow began to sing.

"………………..AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And Peek-A-Boo teleported away, which caused a small explosion of force that knocked Grave off his stool and a few bottles off the bar.

A few seconds passed, as Grave climbed back into his seat, looking miserable, as Weather Wizard headed over.

"Women trouble?" He said.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, they're impossible creatures. That's why I usually pay for it." Weather Wizard said.

"Another Zombie." Grave said, ordering a drink.

"Aw man, do you know how hard those are to make?" Weather Wizard complained.

"A Zombie please." Grave said. Weather Wizard grumbled as he took out various bottles.

"Raassfrassn…I'm not Whim, I just can't will the drinks out of thin air…"

And speaking of Whim, we now pan down the bar to see Whim standing and looking at a gigantic man, the Brick (Created by the author Bobcat. Strong as a brick, tough as a brick, dumb as a brick. Nuff said. The Epic of Gauntlet.).

"M…ak….e m…." The Brick said, very slowly.

"Yes?" Whim replied, clearly impatient.

"…m…eeee….a….dr….dr…"

"Yes? YES?"

"….ink."

"Make you a drink?"

"Y….essssss."

"Ok." Whim said, and snapped his fingers. Brick disappeared. A glass of dark liquor now stood on his stool. "You're a drink!"

"HEY! You just turned my best enforcer into alcohol!" complained the Brick's associate, Dr. Peregrine (Also created by the author Bobcat. Genius scientist with high tech and bird-themed armor. Also Epic of Gauntlet).

"Throw him in Gauntlet's face. It would probably be more effective then any plan you could think of." Whim said, smirking.

"Why you!" Dr. Peregrine snapped, and raised an arm as he began to activate his gravity-offense weapons. "Let's see…!"

Peregrine disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving a silver-colored drink on the bar. Whim picked it up, swirled it around in his mouth, and then spat it back into the glass and waved his hand. With more puffs of smoke, the two villains were back, Dr. Peregrine looking dazed and scared, the Brick uncomprehending.

"I'll be good." Dr. Peregrine whimpered.

"……..Huh?" Brick said. "….Whu…hap…pened?…Oh…ye…ah…mak…"

"ARGH!" Whim said, and snapped his fingers. A stunned Weather Wizard was suddenly standing in his place. And since we are not sadists, we will leave this part of the bar and go elsewhere…

"Hey Cinderblock…what the hell was Goofy?" Plasmus suddenly asked.

"What?" Cinderblock replied.

"You know, Disney! What the hell was Goofy? Mickey was a mouse, Donald was a duck, Pluto was a dog…what the hell was Goofy?"

"I think he was a dog too." Cinderblock replied, all the while not noticing something slithering past his feet.

"Goofy wasn't a dog! He…wore pants! And drove a car!" Plasmus protested. Who knows where this argument will go, because we are going back to the Troika.

"You know, I have to admit, no alcohol aside, these drinks are good." Gizmo said.

"You couldn't handle the alcohol anyway…MIKRON." Mammoth teased.

"Don't call me that, BARAN." Gizmo shot back. "What happened, did your mother want to name you Baron and mixed up the vowels?"

"Please you two, stop fighting!" Jinx said.

"Sez you, you don't even HAVE a real name in the DC universe. You're just Jinx!" Mammoth replied.

"And proud of it."

"Yeah, but since your cartoon incarnation is so different from your comic one, the author is just going to give you a name!" Gizmo said. Jinx looked scared.

"Eeep." She whimpered.

"Heh heh, and knowing HER it'll be something…" Gizmo said, as he turned a bit.

"BOO!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Gizmo screamed, as he scrambled back and inadvertently activated a gadget that blasted him into the ceiling. The Scarecrow, clearly drunk, laughed.

"Ha ha ha! Look at me! I'm a phantom! Oggie boogie boogie!" He sputtered, as he staggered off.

"Crane never could hold his liquor." The Joker said (DC, and if you don't know who the Joker is, you don't deserve to be reading this! Wings of the Eagles Chapter 24).

"Indeed." said the Tally Man (DC. Oddly albeit coolly, IMOA, dressed hitman. Wings of the Eagles Chapter 5).

"Why are you here?" The Joker asked.

"The author thinks I'm cool." The Tally Man replied.

"And why are YOU here?"

"The author paying homage to a friend." Said Myth (Created by the author Jedi-And. Hulking half man half dragon. Appeared in Flashing Lights and Sounds).

"And why are YOU here?"

"The author being cute." Said Scrapheap (Mechanical patchwork quilt controlled by a malevolent AI. Is the only villain to go beyond HAY, as he/it is HBFCY, for Hasn't Been Fully Created Yet).

"And why am I here?" The Joker asked as the Lord walked past.

"Because the author walked away five minutes ago to get a snack and her brother seized the computer so he could stick you in to overshadow me." He said.

"Oh. What's next?" The Joker asked.

"SEXY PARTY" Stewie yelled, as he and girls in underwear appeared. They all start dancing. The villains look oddly at them.

"OK, THE BOSS IS BACK! GET! SHOO!" The Lord yelled.

"BLAST! BURN IN HELL!"

"Tried it, not really to my taste." The Lord replied, and then he heard a strange noise. "Oh for the love of, now what…"

Now what was Wintergreen (Slade's assistant, if you've forgotten), clearly drunk, which might explain why he's on the stage.

"Old McDonald had a farm! EE-YI-EE-YI-OH! And on that farm he had a chick, the swingingest chick I know! With a wiggle wiggle here and a wiggle wiggle there…" Wintergreen sang.

"GET OFF THE STAGE!"

"I want to but I can't!"

Scarecrow, meanwhile, had made his way back to his table and sat down. He made an incomprehensible happy noise and then fell face first onto the table.

"Thud, sigh, drool. Drool. Drool." Onomatopoeia said.

"Yeesh, alcohol makes men even more foolish then they usually are." Lady Vic said, as she checked her glass of champagne.

"Slide, lift, sip…blink, thwap." Onomatopoeia said.

"Will you stop that!" Torque yelled, shaking his fist.

"Wave, wave, wave, thwoosh, rustle, pop, crack..."

Asphyxiation smashed a chair over Onomatopoeia's head. The hitman fell off his own chair and hit the ground. "Crash, slip, thud, clatter, clatter, drip…drip…drip…"

"SHUT UP!" Asphyxiation yelled as he started kicking him.

"Thud, thud, smack, thud…"

"Argh, I give up!" Asphyxiation cursed, stalking away. He headed over to the bar. "Turn on the TV! Maybe there's some rugby on!"

"Sorry, our cable's messed up." Whim apologized. "All we get is the A Channel."

"The what?" Asphyxiation said.

"See for yourself." Whim replied, and turned the TV on. Anarky (DC. Would be savior of the common man. Wings of the Eagles Chapter 1) appeared, talking to a stone statue of Justice, with scales and blindfolded eyes.

"Hello dear lady. A lovely evening is it not? Forgive me for intruding. Perhaps you were intending to take a stroll. Perhaps you were merely enjoying the view. No matter, I thought it was time we had a little chat, you and I. Ah, I am forgetting that we may not be properly introduced. I have many names, but you may call me Lonnie. Madam Justice, this is Lonnie, Lonnie, Madam Justice. Hello Madam Justice.

"Good evening Lonnie." Replied "Madam Justice", which was really Anarky doing ventriloquism, as it is a statue.

"There. Now we know each other." Anarky went on. "Actually, I've been a fan of yours for quite some time. Oh, I know what YOU'RE thinking. "The poor boy has a crush on me, an adolescent infatuation." But I beg your pardon Madam, as it isn't like that at all. I've long admired you…albeit only from a distance. I used to stare at you from the streets when I was a child. I'd say to my father "Who is that lady?" and he'd say "That's Madam Justice." and I'D say "Isn't she pretty." And please don't think it was merely physical. I know you're not that sort of girl. No, I loved you as a person, as an ideal. But that was a long time ago…I'm afraid there's someone else now…

"What? Lonnie, for shame! You have betrayed me for some harlot! Some vain and pouting hussy with painted lips and a knowing smile!" "Madam Justice" complained.

"I, Madam? I beg to DIFFER! It was YOUR infidelity that drove me to her arms!" Anarky yelled back. "AH HA! That surprised you, didn't it? You thought I didn't know about your little fling, but I do. I know everything! Frankly, I wasn't surprised when I found out. You always did have an eye for a man in uniform."

"Uniform? Why, I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. It was always you, Lonnie. You were the only one…" "Madam Justice" protested.

"LIAR! SLUT! WHORE! Deny that you let him have your way with you, him with his overstuffed wallet and jackboots!… Well? Cat got your tongue? I thought as much. Very well, so you stand revealed at last. You are no longer MY justice. You are HIS justice now. You have bedded another. Well, TWO can play that game!"

"Sob! Choke! Wh-who is she Lonnie? What is her NAME?" "Madam Justice" cried.

"Her name is mine. Her name is ANARCHY, and she has taught me more as a mistress than you EVER did! She has taught me that justice is meaningless without freedom. She is honest. She makes no promises and breaks none, unlike you, Jezebel. I used to wonder why you could never look me in the eye. Now I know. So goodbye, dear lady. I would be saddened by our parting, even now, save that you are no longer the woman I once loved." Anarky proclaimed, and then turned and walked away.

And a few seconds later the statue exploded. Off screen, you could hear Anarky speaking.

"The flames of freedom, how lovely, how just, my precious anarchy…'Oh beauty, till now I never knew thee…'"

And that was as far as he got, as Asphyxiation smashed the television.

"That was pretty much MY reaction." Whim said dryly.

"What the hell was all that babbling nonsense?"

"Ask Alan Moore." Whim replied, and handed Asphyxiation a glass. "Here, this drink is on the house."

"Great, another Tequila Collins!" Asphyxiation said. "Argh, why does that name piss me off so much!"

The Australian walked off. A second later, Raw appeared at the bar.

"Barkeep, quick! We need something to sober someone up, fast!" Raw said frantically. Whim looked wryly at her.

"Young lady, this is a bar. The words "sobering up" hardly apply here."

"I'm not kidding! We need the mother of all coffees, or something!" Raw said, as she looked over to her table. Whim followed her gaze, and so do we, as we see Abrasion, who has his arms around Masterpiece and Standstill. He also appears to be disintegrating, slowly becoming dust.

"I LOVE YOU GUYZZZZ! We juste…" Abrasion slurred out before his face smacked into the table much like Scarecrow's, as he continued to dissolve.

"Hmmmmmm, loss of sobriety is also affecting his ability to keep his metahuman ability under control, I see." Whim said.

"Yes! I need something! Make it here! Here I'll…" Raw said, as she picked up a glass…and it explodes. "FOR THE LOVE OF…!"

"All right, all right. I have just the thing." Whim said, as a glass appeared in his hand. He put it on the bar, as he conjured some ingredients.

"One ounce of club soda, two ounces of beef broth, one ounce of tomato juice, one teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, quarter of a teaspoon of lemon juice, three dashes of Tabasco-Habanero sauce, and some dried garlic. There you go, one Bloody Bullshot." Whim said, offering the concoction to Raw.

"Great!" Raw said as she grabbed it and ran off.

"Well, another happy customer." Whim said, and turned to another patron, even as agonized screams are heard in the background. "Now sir, would you like something else?"

"No! My Red Pagoda is fine!" Snapped Kurai (Created by the author Bobcat. Humorless and honor-obsessed Japanese teen with immense energy powers. The Epic of Gauntlet).

"Sure you don't want to try something else? How about a Blind Kamikaze?" Whim smirked.

"YOU INSULT ME! PERISH!" Kurai shouted, and fired an energy blast at Whim. But Whim just held up his hand and the blast deflected away and into the main section.

Elsewhere, there was a flash and Warp was an adult again.

"Finally! Now for…"

The energy blast slammed into him, as restoring his age had also made him tall enough to get hit by it. "AHHHHHHH NOT FAIIRRRR!"

Warp hit the wall and collapsed. A few seconds later, a miserable Puppet King showed up to drag him away. Elsewhere…

"You foolish fleshlings, you have no chance! No one beats me! No one!" Atlas boasted, in front of a TV hooked up with the same video game system the Titans use.

"You are the fool! I cannot be beaten! I am perfect!" Trident snapped back.

"Be silent, both of you! I will show you superiority!" Lightning added.

"I think not! We can't find a forth player, so you two will have to serve as an example! Let's begin!" Atlas said, and the three villains began to play the game. And we go elsewhere again, as we come to a table filled with DC Villains.

"Yeah, it's great. DC's big comic event of 2004 and I'M one of the key players!" Dr. Light bragged. "Not bad for one cartoon appearance that didn't even feature me as the main villain!"

Captain Cold groaned.

"Daddy, why aren't YOU in the big comic storyline for 2004?" Kitten complained.

"Same reason my nose doesn't smell like feces, but you'll never hear Light mention THAT in all his bragging about being in Identity Crisis." Killer Moth muttered.

"Yep, I'm just proud to be there, even if it is just a Macguffin! I did comic villainy proud! I truly came across as evil, and in showing that in their choices heroes are rarely better then us! Yes, I…" Dr. Light went on.

"Someone spare me…" Warp groaned, wisps of smoke still seeping from him…and then with a sudden flash, he's an old man.

"Thank you…" Warp said, and dozed off, his nearly deaf ears not picking up Light's bragging.

"Yes, truly grand!" Dr. Light went on, as a waitress puts his meal in front of him. "Thank you sweetie!" He said, giving the waitress a friendly pat on the rear. She looked cross and left, even as Light went right back to his bragging. "I must say, if only I could…hey wait a second…this isn't what I ordered! The colors are all wrong and it's…moving? And….GROWING A MOUTH?"

"GRRROAAARRRRRR!" roared Aberration (Constantly mutating and feeding monstrosity. Black and White Chapter 12) as it surged off the plate and engulfed Dr. Light)

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP MEEYUGGGHHHH….!" Dr. Light screamed, but that was all he got out before Aberration finished eating him.

"RRRRRROOOOOOOOARRRRRRRR!" Growled Aberration, as he lunged for the table of the Five…or at least he was before the Lord appeared in front of him.

"OK, NO ONE EATS THE CUSTOMERS! THROW HIM UP!" The Lord yelled.

"GRRRRRROOOOOARHHHHHHHH!" Was Aberration's reply as he attacked the Lord. The two fought, a slash from a shadow blade slitting open Aberration. Dr. Light falls out, and then Whim appeared and made Aberration vanish with a wave of his hand.

"So…dark…so…hot….and dark…" Dr. Light whimpered, curled up in a fetal ball.

"Geez. BUSBOY! Cleanup! Matthew, where did you send that freak?" The Lord asked, looking at his subordinate.

"Eh, somewhere." Whim (Matthew) replied.

We cut to a street as a group of pedestrians ran down it, screaming, as Aberration chased them down it. On top of a building, Robin looked perturbed.

"Ah nuts, guess we'll have to investigate that so-called villain hangout another time. TITANS, GO!" Robin ordered, and the Titans chased after Aberration. And so let us head back to the bar.

"Well, that was interesting." Raw commented, as she watched Puppet King, cursing under his breath, dragging off a whimpering Dr. Light.

"Indeed." Standstill said, as he finished his drink. Abrasion, who was back together, groaned.

"I TOLD you that drink was too strong." Cataract said.

"Go to hell. Or heaven. Or purgatory. Just shut up." Abrasion growled.

"Hey John, how many of those have YOU drank?" Masterpiece asked.

"Hmmm?" Standstill replied, looking at his bottle. "I don't know. A couple."

"A couple dozen, it seems like." Cataract said.

"Hey, most of these bottles aren't mine!…I think." Standstill replied.

And elsewhere…

"……………………………………….." Said Killjoy.

What were you expecting? And elsewhere again…

"Game Over. Player 4 wins." The TV "said".

"WHAT?" Atlas yelled.

"What foul treachery is this?" Trident yelled.

"We have been cheated!" Lightning complained.

"Hardly…" said…the game controller. There was a flash of light, and then Overload came out of said controller. "Overload wins! Overload is supreme!"

"Overload cheated by actually uniting with the game!" Atlas yelled.

"Overload not hear that against rules! Overload win! Overload is triumphant!" Overload bragged, and then found Whim next to him.

"Overload is going to find himself at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean if Overload doesn't stop speaking in the third person!" Whim said.

"Overload be good." Overload whimpered, clearly not thinking. Whim shook his head.

"And you break it immediately." Whim said, and raised his hand.

"AHHHHH! OVERLOAD RUN!" Overload screamed as he warped back into the game controller. Whim looked annoyed, and then he got an amused look on his face as he snapped his fingers.

And back to the entrance…

"You know, they have that cereal Special K…whatever do they do with the Regular K?" Cinderblock asked. "And whatever happened to Kay Ballard? You know, if you said Mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like Ballard."

"Do you even listen to yourself when you talk?" Plasmus asked.

"I drift in and out."

And elsewhere…

"Hey Murdercrow, do that trick with the knife!" Sizzle asked.

"What…Ah no…" Murdercrow protested.

"Come on!" Sizzle goaded.

"Yeah, I wanna see!" said Gizmo, who is now sitting at the same table as them for some reason, along with Jinx and Mammoth.

"Trick! Trick!" Mammoth chanted.

"Ok, fine…" Murdercrow said as she pulled a knife and gave it a brief twirl as she put her hand on the table, the fingers spread out.

"Oh, this is gonna be good!" Gizmo said. "This is…eh?" He squawked as Sizzle and Shadowmaster grabbed him. "Hey! What gives!"

"Trick needs a volunteer." Sizzle said plainly.

"WHAT?" Gizmo squealed. "Hey, but wait!" He protested as Sizzle and Shadowmaster put and held his hand over Murdercrow's. "Hey, not me!"

"Yeah, you." Shadowmaster said.

"But she's blind!" Gizmo said, fear in his voice and eyes.

"That never stopped her before." Jinx commeted.

"Wait! Wait!"

"DON'T move." Murdercrow said sternly.

And then she began tapping the knife in the spaces between her and Gizmo's fingers, slowly at first, and then faster…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…" Gizmo screamed.

Murdercrow moved the knife faster and faster, hitting the table with considerable force: if she missed, the blade would probably go straight through Gizmo's hand and into hers.

"HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…"

Faster, faster, her hand a blur…and then she stopped, having not missed a step. In theory anyway.

"HHHHHHHHHHHH!" Gizmo finished.

"That's the trick." Murdercrow said, as Sizzle and Shadowmaster let Gizmo go.

"GREAT trick." Mammoth said, chuckling.

"It wasn't funny man…" Gizmo whined.

And now we go to Thunder and Lightning, who is still playing the video game console.

"Wow, when Overload went back into the game, he didn't know Whim switched the game to that new one Bloody Mutilators! Can you catch him with that bear brother?" Thunder asked. At the bar, the phone rang, and the Weather Wizard answered it.

"Um no sorry, Overload can't come to the phone right now. He's uh, on the run, so to say…listen, could you speak up? It's hard to hear you over all the screaming!"

"Yes! Look at this great mauling combo I discovered with the bear! Get him bear, get him!" Lightning chortled.

"AHHHHHHH!" Came from inside the TV. "Nice bear, don't ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH! No! Leave Overload alone! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! OVERLOAD'S ARM!"

And now let's go back to the Five, as Standstill finishes another bottle of beer.

"There. Seven." Standstill said, putting the bottle on the table.

"Yikes. John, how do you feel?" Raw asked.

"A bit woozy…but relatively ok." Standstill replied.

"After 19 beers. Yeesh." Cataract said. "You truly can hold your liquor. Better then some people at this table anyway."

"SHUT. Upppppp…" Abrasion groaned.

"Well don't feel TOO bad Dominique. You're not the only one." Cataract said. He pointed to the two men sitting at the bar.

"I mean, geez, hear Peregrine has all this devices that alter gravity and inertia, and what do I have? A welding torch!" The Welder said, completely drunk and slurring everything. "I haven't met a superhero that didn't laugh when they first saw me! Sheesh, I was once beaten by being hit in the head with an old breadstick…"

"You think your life is bad? You should try mine!" Killer Mother whined. If it was possible he was even more drunk then the Welder. "I should be a great crime lord, except I'm always being cut off at the knees by my daughter! My daughter! Such an irritating, whiny, self-indulgent…and to top it off, she has a mutant boyfriend who has a spider for a head. A SPIDER! What the HELL is with that? I've heard of rebellion, which is ridiculous because I always caved to her, but how in the HELL do you have a relationship with a guy with a SPIDER HEAD? I mean, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU KISS?"

"I told you before, I DON'T GET PAID TO CARE." The Weather Wizard said, standing behind the bar, his arms crossed to indicate he really didn't much care of this position he was in.

"Bleh! Fine!" Killer Mother slurred. "You know what I'm going to do! I'm going to go over there and tell my daughter, that's it, the well is dry, Daddy has business…" Killer Moth said as he started getting up. "…to attend to and that she can't get any more blood to leech from…"

And then Killer Moth collapsed. A few seconds later, the Puppet King walked up and angrily grabbed his leg.

"Revenge!" He snapped, as he started dragging away Killer Moth. "One day, revenge!"

Some time passed, and when we come back Whim had quit the bartender act and is now on the stage.

"All right, we have an act tonight…" Whim said. There were groans. "Relax, it's better then that woman who was up here earlier…("HEY!" came from the audience) Shut up! And I would just like to note I have turned on the power blocker, so no powers! Well, if our performer tonight doesn't enchant you, you can always use him for target practice. Let's say for a magician, he makes a good criminal. Presenting the Amazing Mumbo! YAYYYYYYY!" Whim said, as he went off stage waving his arms like Kermit…and bumped into the Lord, who looks displeased at the ridiculous gesture.

"What? I always wanted to do that!"

Mumbo came on stage. 

"Hello, hey, great to…"

The stage was barraged with fruit and vegetables.

"Ack! Hey! No fair! I haven't even gotten a chance yet!"

"Who said you'd be given one!" The Joker yelled and threw an anvil at Mumbo, who ducked.

"Geez, what a revolting development. It's enough to drive a man to drink…" Mumbo said as he pulled out a cloth and draped it over his hand, then immediately pulled it back to reveal a cocktail. "Yeah, great…" He continued as he drank it and put the cloth back over it, and then, flicking it away again, revealed it's gone again. "Hey, I'm a generous guy, drinks for everyone!" Mumbo continued as he put the cloth back over his hand. When it is pulled off a second later, there are four cocktails in his hand, the bases held between his fingers. "What, no? Oh well…" He said as he put the cloth back over. "Always recycle!" And Mumbo pulled it back…and it's Avenger. Avenger, perhaps ticked about being taken away from his bizarre Harvey Birdman cartoon, hops on Mumbo's head and pecks him a few times before he flies away. "OW! Bad choice!"

"That's nothing. It's easy." Gizmo said in the audience.

"On a stage where all powers are deactivated?" Jinx pointed out.

"Uhhhhhh…still easy!" Gizmo said.

"Ok, for my next trick I will need a volunteer." Mumbo said. "Who shall we…you. Yes, you. Come on, you don't want to incur the wrath of the owner, do you?"

"Dude, I have a headache." Abrasion complained.

"Ok then! Don't worry, it's easy. Here, catch!" Mumbo said, and threw an oversized card at Abrasion. It flew over his head, and Masterpiece had to pick it up and hand it to him.

"Ok, you have the card?" Mumbo asked.

"Yes…"

"Good!" Mumbo said, and produced a normal sized deck of cards. "I'm going to hold out this deck, please insert your card anywhere you choose…"

Everyone chuckled at the obviously lame duck trick as Mumbo held out the deck to Abrasion. Abrasion just gazed, bleary-eyed, at Mumbo, and then stuck the big card in the normal deck, where it clearly stuck out.

"Ok, what card could it be…" Mumbo said, pretending to search for a few seconds. "All right, in all seriousness…I will need another volunteer! Preferably a more sober one. How about you? Yeah, sure, come on stage! Who are you buddy?" Mumbo asked the volunteer coming on stage.

"I am the Tally Man! I'm a debt collector!" The Tally Man said.

"Great! Tell me Tally Man, do you have two hundred dollar bills?" Mumbo asked.

"No."

"Then this debt collecting business isn't going so good, huh?" Mumbo cracked. Tally Man looked cross. "Ok, do you have two fifty dollar bills?"

"No."

"Yeah I guessed, otherwise you'd have gotten a better top hat for that outfit!" Mumbo cracked again. Tally Man looked even MORE cross. "Ok, ok! Do you have any money at all?"

"Uh…" The Tally Man said, as he began searching for his wallet. "I think so…"

"Gimme." Mumbo said, as he snatched the wallet away and began going through it.

"Here, we'll use these two tens." He said as he gave the wallet back.

"Now…" Mumbo said, holding up the bills. "This is the front of a ten, this is the back of ten. Now…" He said as he began rapidly moving his hands around. "This is back and this is front and reverse and back and reverse again and back and front and…which one of these did you give me?

"…Both of them." The Tally Man said.

"Well thank you very much I appreciate that!" Mumbo laughed, as he pocketed the money. "Well I…" He said, and then looked nervously at Tally Man, who has produced a six shooter that he is aiming it at Mumbo's head. "Er, right. Ok, another trick my friend!" Mumbo said quickly, as he produced a card deck. "Pick a card, any card!"

"My money!"

"Yes, soon! Now pick a card!" Mumbo said, offering a spread deck, and Tally Man exasperatedly picked a card. "Show it to the audience, I am not looking…." Mumbo said as he turned away. Tally Man shows his card, the seven of diamonds.

"Ok!" Mumbo said as he turned back around. "Now put it back in this deck."

The Tally Man did so.

"Ok, now close your eyes."

Tally Man looked really annoyed, but he did it.

"Ok people, I am, without any mental abilities, going to read this man's mind, which I still suffice will be a piece of CAKE." Mumbo cracked. The Tally Man growled, which Mumbo ignored as he put his hand on his forehead.

"Ok…I'm getting something…something…who is Sylvia?" Mumbo asked. The Tally Man growls again. "Ok Tally Man! I am done!"

And Mumbo pulled a card from the deck Tally Man put the card in and actually slapped the card on his FOREHEAD, where it stuck somehow. It is the seven of diamonds. He then puts the deck in Tally Man's hand.

"Go through that deck, and if you find your card, you will get back the twenty bucks you lost to me…" Mumbo said, observing that Tally Man has already started going through the deck, so quickly his eyes are still closed). "You can open your eyes now. If you find that card with your eyes closed, I'M finding another job.

The Tally Man continued to go through the deck, not having noticed his card is stuck on Mumbo's forehead. Mumbo wiggled his eyebrows as Tally Man hunted through the deck, and then pulled out the oversized card he used with Abrasion.

"This was the big one, right?" he asked, holding up the card so it obscured his face.

"Yeah." Tally Man said, glancing at it. He didn't see the forehead card, as Mumbo had carefully positioned the big card to block it. Not having noticed, Tally Man kept going through the deck.

"Here, let me help you." Mumbo said, taking some of the cards. However, he keeps them at waist level so Tally Man doesn't see his head. "How about this one? No? How about this?" He asked, holding up a card in a perfect angle so it blocks the card on his forehead.

"No!" The Tally Man snapped, irritated.

"How about this? Maybe this?" Mumbo said, as he continued to time it so Tally Man never saw his card. After thirty seconds of this the Tally Man finally and angrily threw the deck to the ground.

"It's not in this…!"

And then he looked up and finally saw the card. Mumbo smirked, as the Tally Man irritably pulled the card off Mumbo's forehead.

"Money."

"Right." Mumbo said, and gave Tally Man his money back. "A big hand for my assistant. Even if he does look like a fruitcake!"

A gunshot. A bullet hole appears in Mumbo's top hat.

"Er, yes, ok, for my final trick, I will bring out my lovely assistant. Komand'r of Tamaran! You know her as Blackfire." Mumbo said, and Blackfire came on stage pushing a multi-segmented box.

"Lovely, for someone who looks like they put on too much tanning lotion. Now, my assistant will pick one final volunteer from the audience for my last trick…" Mumbo said, as Blackfire went into the audience. "Oh, she's found someone!"

Blackfire came back on stage dragging a cursing Asphyxiation.

"…stupid tricks you alien birdie!" Asphyxiation yelled as he was pulled on the stage.

"Ah, Jack Djinn, who has stolen many a lady's heart…out the front of her chest." Mumbo said.

"Get me off this stage you wanker!"

"No, you're up here, and hence you have to get in the box." Mumbo said.

"I'm not getting in the box you drongo!"

"GET IN THE BOX OR I'LL PUT YOU IN A PINE ONE!" The Lord roared offstage.

"Bloody 'ell." Asphyxiation cursed, as he got in the box.

"Ok, now that my not so willing volunteer is in the box…" Mumbo said as he closed the door and produced a square of metal. "Many of you may have seen this trick, but the thing is…I'm still not sure if I'm doing it right."

And Mumbo slammed the square of metal through one of the segments…and assumingly through Jack's legs, through there was no indication of such an event.

"Ok, so far so good! Blackfire?" Mumbo said, and Blackfire holds up the next square. Mumbo slammed it in at neck level. Nothing.

"And now for the final one!" Mumbo said, as Blackfire produced and handed over another square. This one goes in at waist level…

"OWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Oh dear." Mumbo said, sweatdropping. "Well, I don't see any blood, so…" Mumbo said as he removed a box. He carried it around and then handed it to Blackfire as he removed the other three boxes and switched them up. The final box was put back at waist level. "And now…Jack Djinn…who has fallen to pieces." Mumbo said as he opened the top middle box to reveal Asphyxiation's head. Asphyxiation looked around a bit.

"…….WHAT THE HELL! WHAT THE SMURF HAVE YOU BLOODY YANKS DONE TO ME! YOU SMURF'N NONGS! I'M GONNA KILL ALL YOU LARRIKINS! ALL YOUR SMURF'N…"

"Oh man, silence truly is golden." Mumbo said, as he waved his hand. A bouquet of flowers appeared in Asphyxiation's mouth, muffling his curses.

"Well, as much as some people, including my lovely assistant, would love to see Jack stay in pieces…that is why you picked him, didn't you?" Mumbo asked. Blackfire smirked. "Well anyway, honor among thieves and all that."

Mumbo closed the box that had Jack's head in it.

"Now, we begin!"

Mumbo pulled out one box, then another, then the third, and finally the forth…

"Hey. JUGGLING! JUGGLING! JUGGLING! SUCKS!" Mumbo said, acting like he was going to do said juggling before he throws the boxes behind him, where they go crashing to the ground.

"Oh dear, where did everything go again? Oh well, I'll just wing it…" Mumbo said as he picked up the boxes and put them back together.

"And now…let's see…" Mumbo said, and threw the door open. Asphyxiation stood there, looking dazed. "First time ladies and germs! Thank you! I am the Amazing Mumbo! You've been a great crowd!"

Something tapped him on the shoulder.

"Eh?"

"Nice trick, cutting me into pieces." Asphyxiation said, smiling, which was somehow even scarier then if he'd been mad.

"Errrrr…glad you liked it!"

"Oh yes. So much I'm gonna show you one of my tricks. You cut me into three pieces, I'll cut you into three HUNDRED pieces!" Asphyxiation yelled, as Grimmer blades lunged for Mumbo.

"Yikes!" Mumbo yelped, as he pulled out his wand. "Alabadoo, the old switcharoo!" he chanted as he waved his wand, and he vanished…and Blackfire appeared where he was standing.

And since the heights are different, the Grimmer lines didn't so much cut her as they…pawed at her. Blackfire's eyes glowed purple.

"HENTAI!"

"Oh bollocks." Asphyxiation said, and then a Black Bolt blew Jack off the stage and across the café, where he left a Asphyxiation shaped hole in the wall next to Lightning's.

"Hmmmphhh! Hell hath no fury, beeeee-yotch!" Blackfire said, giving Asphyxiation the finger as she walks off the stage.

And then, clapping from the VIP section.

"Bravo, bravo bravo." The Lord said. "Very well done Mumbo. Well, the hour grows late, so that is the only act for tonight. Please get the hell out of my building until tomorrow…"

"Hey!" Atlas said, as he stomped over. "I heard you were the big man around her, and I thought I'd show you who a real big and powerful…"

The Lord raised one arm and blew Atlas into his component atoms.

"I suggest you don't dawdle." He added.

Within 30 seconds, the whole club was empty…except for Killjoy, who is still sitting in his chair. Whim appeared next to him.

"That means YOU too, you Agent 47 wannabe."

Killjoy looked at Whim, and then stood up and walked out past Cinderblock and Plamus.

"CH CH CH AH AH AH!" Cinderblock said under his breath as he left.

"I dunno, I think he's more of a "Do do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do do…" Plasmus said.

"Argue which horror villain theme fits him better on your own time." The Lord yelled over. "Clean up and clear out!"

There was a flurry of activity, and then everyone left the restaurant. The lights turned off.

There was a brief silence.

And then Trigon stomped out of the kitchen.

"THERE! I finished the meals and…"

And then he saw that the bar and restaurant were empty.

"DAMNATION!"

The End


	3. Serious Bitter Story 1: Standards

_**Standards**_

Author's Note: I wrote this to vent my spleen about something in real life. Sloth, don't read this. Just don't.

* * *

_I call myself The Lord._

_Perhaps some of you know me. Some probably don't. Those that do know me would likely call me a monster._

_By their viewpoint, it's a deserved title. I've caused the death of over a million people. I've killed men, women, children. I killed a father in front of his daughter, and told her it was her fault. Had circumstances gone differently, I would have killed far more. I haven't changed my plans to do so._

_I do this because I believe this is what the world needs. The argument on my righteousness is endless, and quite frankly even I have gotten a little tired of it. It is what is needed, and that is that. If you wish to oppose me, the line starts over there. If you're lucky, I may regret your inevitable death as a waste._

_So perhaps you ask, what am I talking about? What does it have to do with my erstwhile enemies, whose stories you usually peruse? Well…nothing, this time. You will have to look elsewhere for those tales._

_This is just…something I felt needed to be done._

_It's why I'm in this New York correctional facility, after all._

_It needn't concern itself. I won't be here long._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_

The coldness was the first alert that something was wrong. When she opened her eyes, the darkness was another.

"Hello miss."

The bed she'd been sleeping on was gone. The cell she had been in was also gone, as she found herself tumbling and thrashing through the air. She hit what seemed to be a floor.

"WHAT THE FU-!"

"No talking please."

And just like that, her voice was gone. The girl spoke, and then screamed silently, no sound coming out of her mouth. She turned wide eyes up to the figure. Even in the darkness around her, he somehow stood out.

"Hello miss." The Lord repeated, as he produced a sheath of papers from somewhere and began rifling through them. "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you won't be serving the year in prison you were just sentenced to. The bad…"

She whirled, trying to run, seconds before slamming into an invisible wall.

"…right then. I'm not really interested in your life." The Lord said, tossing the paper aside. "More interested in why you're here."

Turning and running towards the Lord only resulted in impact with another invisible wall.

"Now, if I recall correctly…you were playing a 'prank' on your ex-roommate." The Lord said. "There were some details about stolen noodles and bleach on walls…nothing special. Then you decided to take your ex-roommate's kitten and…well, you know what you did."

Her eyes widened.

"You know the worst part, for me? I understand why. Well, in one sense. I've indulged in inflicting pain on others myself. I know the appeal." The Lord said. "But those were people, who have a very strong tendency to be worthless and deserve everything they get, one way or another. Animals are another matter. But even considering that, you've really managed to set the bar high, young lady. You not only put the cat in the oven, and you not only bragged about it when you were convicted to try and spit in the face of all the people who reviled you for your action, but after you turned on the oven, you left. Didn't want to watch what you did. Didn't want to see it cry and fight to get free. It's that part…that's what drew my attention. I watch your species commit new atrocities every day. Do you know what is required to get something to resonate with me?"

It wasn't cold any more. It was hot.

"You know, the bitterest irony is, by the standards of your society, my crimes outweigh yours a thousandfold." The Lord said, approaching the woman as she began to bang on her new prison. "Yet people form cults to worship me and make websites proclaiming my greatness. Idiots like that will die anyway, I don't need such small-minded vermin in my world. But I suspect that no one in this world will do anything but hate you. Until they forget. People forget you see. It's just the way it is."

The Lord's eyes glittered.

"I don't forget. And I, as the old saw goes, never forgive."

So hot…getting hotter.

"You know, I can't use this. Can't hold you up to show why this world needs to be purged. You're an exceptional aberration, even by my standards. It's why we're here, when I should be working on my plans, after all. And yes, if anyone ever knew why I was about to do, they'd probably claim I was worse than you. After all, you're just a heartless, banal piece of excrement. I claim to be better, and I do this…like I said. You have to do something truly _special_ to get me to act like this. But this counts for me." The Lord said. "So I'm no better than you. Except I am. In one way, at least. I will stay to watch my handiwork. And I'm very good with my hands."

The Lord raised one.

"You can start screaming now."

She did. For a very, very long time.

* * *

_I wonder if anyone will really care what I did to her._

_I wonder how many more worthy people I'll have to kill before I can make a world where her kind will never exist._

_I wonder how long I spent in that crack of reality I command doing what some wish they could have done. It was weeks, at least, I suspect._

_I wonder, and am about to find out, how far I just set my timetable back to show my displeasure at her deeds._

_I don't wonder if it was worth it._


	4. Comedy Story 3: Get A Real Life

_**Get A (Real) Life**_

It was a lovely day in Jump City. The Teen Titans were having breakfast. Then a gigantic bolt of destroying power came down from the sky and blew their Tower and most of their city off the map. There were no survivors. Other bolts fired destroyed other cities and any known locations of superheroes and magicians. The survivors banded together and likely used their greater knowledge of magic to stop the creature that had done this, the Lord of the Night, who in a fit of psychotic spite blew himself up, probably killed/maimed the remaining heroes who had come to face him, and left the world in a state similar to horrifically depressing films like _Threads_ and _The Day After._

_The End_

* * *

It was a lovely day in Jump City. The Teen Titans were having breakfast. Nothing happened that day, because years ago a semi-improvised ritual by a psychotic murderer killed him horribly instead of granting him vaguely-defined godlike powers he used to shove all the trademark villains of the series and universe aside so he could constantly make speeches about how humans sucked in dialogue that often wasn't very good or at least did not age well.

_The End_

* * *

It was a lovely day in Jump City. However the only people who could have seen it didn't care, as they were squatting in a rotting, mostly-abandoned charnel pit. After nearly getting blown off the map twice, people no longer wanted to live in Jump, and stayed away. Perhaps it was smart, because if they had, they would have gotten to experience the city nearly getting blown off the map several more times. The Teen Titans were probably having an adventure somewhere, but since we're stuck in Jump we're out of luck.

_The End_

* * *

It was a lovely day in Jump City. However the Teen Titans didn't get to see that as they had all long been consigned to mental hospitals for the constant, never-ending, and terrible physical, mental, and emotional trauma they had been subjected to seemingly every day of their lives. Why were children being enlisted as superheroes and given cities to guard? The world may never know.

_The End_

* * *

It was a lovely day in Jump City. The Teen Titans probably did something awesome, because they realized reality and realism in stories is only useful until it isn't. But I have other stories to write, so you can decide what that is.

_The (REAL) End_

* * *

_**OMAKE!**_

"Let us do something unusual now. Let us see…a world without Metatron." The Phantom Stranger said.

_*****_**WORLD WHERE **_**UNSEEN ATTRACTIONS **_**HAPPENS IS SHOWN***

"………..that was…uh…I don't know…I'm…what?" Savior said. "How the…why would…I'm not, he's not…I don't understand. I really don't want to. Next world please."

"As you clearly wish."


End file.
